Food is comfort for my emotional needs

Today did not start out so great. I woke up early so I could get to work on time for once this week. I get all my stuff gathered go out to my car and nope it didn’t want to act right today. I go back into the house to wake my husband up to tell him I need his car and need to drop him and my daughter off. I get into my husbands car and I snag my poncho ugh can this day before over already it’s only 7:30 in the morning. The rest of my day went fine, hubby took car to shop to see what was wrong with it. They call and tell me the price todos my car. Let’s just say I do t have that so kiss my 😮. So I called my brother told him what’s up and he’s going to fix it for me, again thank god for big brothers, right😊. When my days go like this, this is where I fall into just give me everything in site food. Food comforts my stress, depression, anger and whatever else emotion I feel that food needs to fill those spots. Food is my go to when things in my life don’t go right or things happen. But today I was not going to let that happen. After I came home from work I worked out for 30 minutes, I figured eating fattening foods was not gonna help solve my emotional feelings. I did feel good when I finished working out. Question for my everyday exercises peeps is it better to workout before you eat or after you eat? I always workout before I eat because I feel if I don it after then I won’t want to workout. Until net time…. Goodnight

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Sucker for street food and food trucks

Ok so today started off as a good day. Slept pretty good until my husband had a dream that he was in a fight witb someone and tried to hit thsm and hit me right in the chest. Didnt hurt that much but early in the morning and not knowing ehat was going on it hurt a little. Thought he was besting the kife back into me or something lol jk. Made my breakfast tortilla again man is that good. Took me an hour to drive into work because of accidents ugh. Went to two job sites came back out to my car to go to another job site and bam car wont start. Found some to give me a jump and that didnt work. So i called a tow truck to take it to my brothers to have him look at it. Called hubby to come pick me up because i was stranded in minneapolis. So as i waited for the tow truck to get there i went to this little coffee shop by the job site called corner coffee and orderer lunch. Of course as i say its for eat in the tow truck pulls up so then i got it to go and went out to the driver. He hooked my car up in 2 minutes and took off. Hubby was still at work so that means 30 minutes before he gets me. So im standing outside with all my stuff and food wondering where to go. I told hubby that i feel stupid going back into the coffee shop, so i did and they asked me about my car. I sat thefe and ate my lunch which was really good. I had a half a grilled cheese and a cup if chicken and dumbling soup. Let me tell you if your looking for a good grilled cheese go to the corner coffee in the north loop. It did not skimp on the cheesd and the coffee shop was cute and cozy. Cma home did work had dinner which was so good. We had man pleasing chicken with egg noodles and green beans. Oh man talk about flvor i wanted seconds but there wasnt seconds if chicken and we had to go. Went to my brothers and he fixed my car. All it was, was a loose battery cable. Thank god for big brothers that fix cars. Came home and here i am writing my blog. So i have good perks and bad perks about my job. Good ones i love my job, my clients, and the new places im discovering to eat at and reccomend. The down side i see resturants and can smell food all day. It is the temptation to walk pass a place when its lunch time and you havent had your lunch and see and smell all the food. You know you havent ate and you have a credit card and it would taste so good and be very satisfying. But all i want to do is hurry back to my car and scarf my food down and get my mind off of the food that i was smelling. Mmmm garlic and grease in the air smells so good 😋. Summer time is going to be hard because in downtown minneapolis by one of my job sites they have about 6 food trucks. Im a sucker for street food and food trucks. Hopefully when the summer comes i will have control over of eating and be healthier and wont have those cravings. Until next time….. Goodnight

Is she pregnant or is she fat?

Had a good night sleep was dreaming pretty good then my alarm went off. Huh I hate when that happens. Anyway I made a really good breakfast tostada this morning. It was scrambled eggs, refrained beans and cheese. I put some homemade salsa on it that I bought from the Mississippi market and it was so good. Then I had left overs for lunch and yogurt for snack. Went to pick up my daughter and came home. Since my hubby was out I brought my daughter to the gym with me. I brought the tablet and her head phones and told her to sit on the mat while I worked out. Today I added 5 more minutes to my work out so I did the bike for 20 and then lifted weights. For my weight lifting I have increased my reps to 12 instead of 10, every two weeks I’m going to increase my twos by two and the weights. Need to built that muscle. So today my hubby went to the doctor and he lost some weight which I’m really happy for him but it makes me mad. I have been eating healthier and working out since the begining of this month and haven’t lost a pound yet. So I weigh 270 and one day I will weight 269 then in a few days go back up to 270. I weigh myself in the morning as soon as I get up and use the bathroom. This is where I start to feel like well if I’m not losing weight might as well give up because it’s not going to happen. I’m not obsessed with weighing myself but I like to see results especially since I have been doing fairly well for almost a month. I need to make myself a doc appointment and get my thyroid checked out. I have 4 aunts and a cousin that all have under active thyroid, which could be a cause to not losing weight, losing hair, and having a hard time getting pregnant. I’ll probably make that appointment tomorrow because I want to see if that’s the case. My dads side of the family scares me because of all their medical problems. Heart attacks, diabetes, thyroid, back issues and breast cancer (2 aunts not hereditary). I’m sure I’m forgetting some, but this is another major reason why I want to eat healthy and get healthy. I want to avoid as much as possible of having these issues because of my weight and unhealthy lifestyle. I will keep working on it. I need to feel sexy in my own skin and not grossed out every time I take my clothes off and look in a mirror. Sometimes I think it would be easier to take a knife and just cut my fat off but that wouldn’t fix anything it’s all in the mind set. I would like to bend over and breath when I tie my shoes, I would like to actually look pregnant when ever that happens again and not just look fat for the first 7 months. I want the big baby belly that you can clearly see that I’m pregnant and not guessing if I’m pregnant or is she fat? Well I can go in but I will save it for another day and another topic. UntiL next time ….. Good night

“Ya, you go girl”!!!!

So today my daughter had swimming lessons and I have to be in the water with her, man is it a work out. She is always on the move and never wants to stay still while I’m holding her. Hubby was in the stands watching us. He said from what he saw she was doing a pretty good job. Before we went swimming we had dinner I had found a recipe on Pinterest, it was a tortilla chicken soup. I put it in the slow cooker before I went to work so it would be ready by time we got home from work and school. Well my other slower cooker broke so I bought a new one, It is a lot smaller than my last one. When I was looking at the ingredients last night I know they wouldn’t all fit in the new slow cooker. I cut the recipe sort of in half and it was still to much, told hubby when he comes home to transfer it into a pan and add more chicken and corn. Well I think we let it sit to long in the pan because all the broth was gone so it kind of turned into a chilli, which was fine with me it was super good full of flavor. Me and my son had two bowls and the hubby had one bowl. My daughter didn’t want any because she wasn’t hungry  at the time. Went swimming came home baths and showers I finished work and start thinking to myself. I started thinking how I feel when I get out of the shower or how I feel after I work out. I feel sexy when I’m fresh out the shower. I feel sexy when I get done working out like yeah I just worked out so what you can’t tell me anything. While I workout I listen to music that makes me feel sexy and picture myslelf dancing to the music and how good I will look when I start losing weight and getting into shape. The persons body that I idle is Beyonce, I think she has an amazing body and am still waiting for her to come out with a workout video. So of course since I love Beyonce I listen to a lot of her music while working out and dance to it in my head also when no one is looking i start dancing in the gym 😀. Has anyone watched that new show called my diet is better than yours? Well I watched my first episode last week and I’m like that one girl on there that doesn’t like to sweat and procrastinates when it comes time to working out. I hate sweating, when I start to sweat and people see me I think to myself… “What are they thinking”? Look at that fat girl over there trying to workout knowing damn well she will just go home and eat a cheeseburger. Oh man that girl is gross, look she is all sweaty and gross looks like a fat pig. But that’s just me thinking of those things. I’m sure they are not paying attention to me and my sweaty ness, or like ya you go girl get your workout on. Whenever I see a big girl out running or working out I want to shout at them and encourage them like “ya you go girl”, “you can do it” or “your beautiful”. I know if someone yelled this at me while I’m working out in public I would be afraid at first and be like what the hell did they just say? Then it would register and make me happy that some random person yelled encouraging things at me and start laughing and think ya I got this and workout even harder. As my time on this journey I’m going to want to quit or give up but then I stop and think, “I don’t want my kids to be unhealthy and over weight like me”. I don’t want them to get teased in school or picked on because they are over weight. I was teased in school because I was a big girl, names called like thunder thighs. I don’t want my kids to go through this. That’s why I need to change myself and how I am so they can be healthy and fit. Plus I just need tonkeepmup with my daughter who is a burst of energy. When her and I run up the stairs she runs the same pace as me. That’s embarrassing😳 Until next time…. Goodnight

Weekend closing

So as the wekend comes to an end this is what happened…. Saturday woke went to Brooklyns ice skating in the am then went to the target for a few items. I was determined to cook dinner and saturday night, which i havent done in a long time. So we came home from icd skating had left over enchiladas and i took a two hour nap. I was just tired and didnt eant to do anything. Im fighting a little cold nothing major. I felt run down and ait was getting late and i just didnt feel like doing anything. This is where the temptation to go and grab something to eat, but i was determined to cook something. So i got up took turkey out to make a cheese burger pasta. Whileni was waiting for my turkey to unthaw i made bananaa bread with a new recipe that i got from my weight watchers book. Made the cheese burger pasta, which i think i ated to many noodles but turned out really good. After dinner i went back to lay on the couch until bedtime. I did not sleep that well on saturday my back was hurting and woke up with a head ach. I woke up at 6 am so much for sleeping in.

So that leads us to today sunday. I woke up and started cleaning my kitchen imhave neglected it for a awhile so it was time to make it shine. Hubby and kids where still sleeping so i took advantage of the peaceful cleaning. By time they woke up i was finishing the kitchen. Hubby ran to the store to grab stuff for breakfast. I was not gonna let sunday be like saturday so i made sure i stayed busy. I cleaned my whold apartment by 9 am. Ate breakfast made a grocery list for items for the weekly menu, got ready left the house got the car washed and did the shopping. Came home had lunch. Then i watched a movie in hopes to get a nap, but that didnt happen. Went to my brothers house and had dinner. We had jerk chicken, rice and peas, biscuits and hot links. I ate enough to be content which was not a lot. Told hubby that im not looking forward to sleeping tonight. I have been so restless lately and not sleeping good. We will see how tonight goes. All in all i think i did pretty good for this weekend on not eating out and cooking dinner on saturday. Small steps to a healthier me. Until next time….. Goodnight

Fatty Food Day

So today was not a good day. I had to drive for work this morning so I was up early this morning 4:30am to be exact. I had to be to work at 6:00am drive pick up clients and then go into the field and do my checks, which turn into a long day. I didn’t bring lunch with me our have breakfast since i was up so early. So i ate a breakfast burrito at a coffee shop which was good, i also bought a naked juice and a buster bar rice Krispie. Then i finished my checks and on went to potbelly for lunch i bought a sandwich and a medium mac n cheese with bacon. I ate lunch late then took a nap. Woke up and my husband made dinner and asked if in was ready to eat. I honestly want hungry since i was still full from lunch. So i ate b dinner which was marinated chicken thighs, mashed v potatoes and green beans. Really good and flavorful dinner. Then he wanted to go somewhere or have something for dessert, which is hard for me to say no to since i love sweets. So we were looking at places to go to eat dessert, i looked at melting pot for chocolates fondue and he didn’t b want to go. He bought banquet apple pies so huge made one for the each of us. Of course i ate the whole thing and put cool whip and caramel on top. I did not work out today so know i feel extra lazy. I just get up tomorrow morning and work out first thing in the morning. Im getting into my old self of eating what i want and say Im going to work out and dont. I need to get back on track and fight this slump and show myself that i can do this. I need to look back at my new years resolution and stay focused. Until tomorrow…… Goodnight

Blah day

Today was a tiring day it was busy at work and alot of driving. Did good withe eating today. For dinner tonight was mongolian beef with rice it was delicious. I had a good serving and it filled me up. Then i had a piece of cake from yesterdays holiday gathering that i shared with my daughter and husband.

When i arrived home today i was sitting in the car and remembered that it was Thursday and that I needed to work out. Well when i came in the house dinner was made. I like to workout before dinner so then i dont get tired and lazy. Well i ate dinner first then didnt work out. Now i feel guilty and dont want to work out. I will work out tomorrow i promise. Until next time…. Goodnight